Life lessons learned while painting the kitchen:
- Furniture painting is a nice bonding activity with your father
- Painting a cupboard is a much more arduous task than painting your face or nails
- Brown is not in the same shade as pink
- Strawberry chocolate milk seems enticing right now
- House painting is my true calling
- The smell of lacquer makes me horny
- Brushes are hot
- The human face evens out colors more appropriately than any brush
- If all else fails, fingerpaint
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